7 Quick Ways to Prove Your Haters, Doubters, and Naysayers Wrong


“There’s always something to suggest that you’ll never be who you wanted to be. Your choice is to take it or keep on moving.”-Phylicia Rashad

We all have them. This is a fact of life. It is annoying, but there is something you can do about it that ensures you keep a positive mindset and outlook on your own life. The best ways to prove someone wrong or show them wha you are working with in a non-confrontational way (aka as a lady!) are below:

1. Be Your Best Self
When you are doing your thing and happy with your own life this is normally when Negative Nancy and her crew pop up. But, by you being at your best it will give you an extra boost in your confidence especially in their presence.

2. Be Confident
My favorite of them all! Confidence shines from the inside. Read more about how to be a confident queen here.

3. Be Calm
By being serene and calm you allow yourself room to breathe, and think with an open mind, especially in the presence of a Debbie Downer. Train yourself if you know you will see him/her soon or daily.

4. Be Presentable At All Times
Truth! Look stunning…you never ever know who may see you. This is why it is important to get DRESSED before leaving the house (don’t act like its not sistahs out here in pajamas an bonnets during the day) make sure you are regal at all times.


5. Be a Star: Live Out Your Dreams
When you pursue your purpose and passions in life, there is a guarantee there will be doubters and naysayers every step of the way. But, just the mere fact that you push through and still achieve regardless of what people say will pay off in the end.

6. Be the Bigger Person
Don’t argue with them. But, instead politely agree to disagree. Allow the person to know you hear their opinions, but you have decided to live the life you want not what they want.

7. Be Open to Forgiveness
You forgive other people to free yourself not them. Forgiveness is not always easy, but it does allow you freedom to move forward! Try it….I dare you…forgive someone today you will feel a burden lift off of you.

Do you agree? Any others you would add to the list?

Are You Ready to Detox Your Mind, Body, and Soul for a Healthier Life?

What does detox mean to you? What do you need to let go of this year in order to live a fabulous and empowered life?

Detox to me is letting things go. Giving things up. Moving forward. Divorcing self from the past, and marrying the future!

Where I Went Wrong

This is my hope for the new year. Tomorrow I will officially start a lifestyle change. I am starting a journey to better my health and life. This is something I have wanted to do for a while, but just was not in the right mental space to do it. Two years ago I worked with a nutritionist, worked out daily, and changed my eating for 3 months. I saw no results so I gave up! Then I went on to rapidly gain 40 pounds in about 6-8 months, which you can imagine was really weird! Can you imagine how I felt?

Ready to Let Go

I am officially ready to let go of all of that excess baggage. If you want to fly, you must let go of the s@!*% that weighs you down! I’ve said this before in a previous post on finding the love I deserved. The same is true here. If I want to fly I mean really FLY then I must give something up to get to the life I want.  To get to my happy, healthy, whole place (which is where regal realness lies).

Why I Chose My Health FIRST!

My mind FINALLY changed for four reasons: I’ve been wanting a total body makeover from head to toe for years now, the new year is here,starting my natural hair journey last summer prompted me to want to be just as mindful as what I put on my head as what I put into my body, and starting this blog as made me want to be an even better woman! I decided I wanted to love my body even more than I already do. When you love your body, it loves you back.


Biggest Loser!  

Therefore, tomorrow marks the first day of a fitness challenge I have joined with my blogger friends. It is called the BLM Fitness Challenge, which lasts from Jan 7-April 7, 2013. Participants all entered with $10 (money collected will be given to the biggest loser–which I hope will be me) and you can use any method you want to get fit!!!

Lose Weight Without Dieting or Working Out

I have chosen to use JJ Smith’s DEM (Detox, Eat, and Move) System. Last summer, I purchased her book, Lose Weight Without Dieting or Working Out, read it, and swept in under a rug somewhere. A month ago I pulled it back out, re-read it and now I’M READY! Yesterday, I stocked up on everything I need for the 3 week DETOX phase  (including supplements, green drink mix, protein shake mix, fresh fruits & veggies, whole grain everything, nuts, oils, etc) and ordered additional items from Amazon.com.

Check out the cover here (peep this…JJ is in her 40’s and she looks so good!)


I am so glad I am doing this NOW! It really took this long for me to make a change because I had to mentally embrace this lifestyle change, and fully want it more then anything else. I WANT IT! I am committed! I will chart my journey on here, and I will share new healthy and good recipes I make.

This Journey Is Really About You As Much As It Is About Me

This journey is about more than me. It is allowing me to detox my body and rid it of toxins, and then allowing me to provide it with nutritious, clean and balanced, whole, and healthy foods that fuel my body. It is also allowing me to detox my mind and soul. Allowing me to let go off any addictions to food present, any emotional baggage that needs to go, and anything else they may be holding me back as a result of my weight.

It is also allowing me to be an example! My ultimate goal is to become healthy and fabulous while inspiring other women of color to give this journey a try. As I share I hope to inspire you. As I share I hope to encourage you. As I share I hope to break down everything  to educate you.  I hope to go through trial and error to make even (clean and balance) eating seem tasty for you! I simply want you to know that if I can do it and achieve so can you.

This health journey is for me and it is for you. Stay tuned for more!

Inspirational Websites I Love and Recommend:

Black Girl’s Guide to Weight Loss, Black Women Losing Weight, Black Weight Loss Success, and  Dr. Oz    offers many tips and even a TV show!


Do you have health or fitness goals for this year?

What methods are you using?

Have you ever felt like me before?

Why Does She Always Get the Happy Ever After?


The Happy Ever After Girl Defined

You know the type got it going on, nails done, hair done, everything did, always smiling, gets the good guys, gets the baby or the ring before others, her Facebook never has a dull moment, her Twitter account is on fire, always getting opportunities, always seems to be on to something good! Homegirl is working it, and doing it well. Jealously sometimes creeps in there if your life may not seem as glamorous! Of course, this varies!!

But, why does she always get the happy ever after you might ask? Is she better than you?

Well, I’m here to tell you that so-and-so is NOT better than you.

So-and-so is not smarter then you, more beautiful then you, more blessed then you, or more favored then you. Nope!

Why Her?

She always gets the happy ever after for one reason and one reason alone: BECAUSE SHE BELIEVES SHE DESERVES IT! She believes she is worthy and regal. She believes she deserves the best and will not settle for less. She hustles and works hard for the life she has whether it brings good results or bad results.

What  “HAPPY EVER AFTER” women share (no we’re not talking fairytales here, Cinderella especially!) are solely their BELIEFS in how they believe their life should go! Our thoughts are in direct relation to the life we lead!

What Does the Happy Ever After Girl Think About?

  • What are your thoughts saying about the life you lead?
  • What is your life saying about the thoughts you’ve had?
  • Have you came up with a vision for the way your life should be? Have you worked that vision so it becomes a reality?

Getting to happy means you get into you FIRST!

Getting to Happy

While you’re wondering why she is “HAVING IT ALL” and “LIVING IT UP” she is living her life like it’s golden while you’re sitting around jealous, bitter, angry, (or even just settling for less) instead of getting the life you want!

The happy ever after girl once thought she could, and then she went after it that makes her seem so envious! Instead of envying her see what she is doing. “Success leaves clues (Tony Robbin) my friend! Be mindful and cautious of course when following. But do take note!

Go from jealous to joy. Go from envy to excited. Go from bitter to bold.

By ENVISIONING WHAT YOU WANT  (make a vision board) and then GO GET IT (Mary Mary Voice)!!!!

Are you a Happy Ever After Girl? 


Three Winter 2013 Fashion Trends to Rock NOW!

Naomi Campbell..stunning and regal!

Naomi Campbell..stunning and regal!

It is cold outside! Fur is always in for winter, but find out what is in for 2013. Start your new year off: FABULOUSLY AND FASHIONABLY! Here are three winter fashion trends to rock now on any budget girls!

Oversized Coats

These larger then life coats ripped through the runway at fashion week. If you want to stay up with the trends you will invest in one. Examples include parkas, ponchos, wide shoulder jackets, long coats, oversized collars, and draped fronts.  



 Thick heel pumps, booties, and thigh high boots are in for the season. As I continue on my quest to find the perfect boot for me I will keep this trend in mind!

Leisure Suits

From Beyonce to the runway suits in untraditional and traditional colors are popping up. Reminds of 1960’s/1970’s fashion. This is an informal and casual get up. If both top and bottom are too much pattern for you….try pairing the bottoms with a solid color top. Look out for this trend to pop up during spring and summer, too….PATTERNS ARE IN! These suits are also oversized and can be solid or patterned.

Which of these is your favorite?

Boost Your Apperance Girl: 3 Ways to Dress for Your Body Type

563152_261406470622140_164807823615339_508066_2060571542_n I’ve always been a curvy girl, but in recent years I have gained a pound too many if you catch my drift. Now while I am absolutely in love with myself and in the process of switching to a healthier lifestyle; I still love to look fabulous regardless of what size I am. There are tips and tricks to doing this, and you might find them helpful too if you are in the same boat as me. Note: This is not a substitute for living a healthy lifestyle!


Slip on a body shaper! Get fitted for bras. Most women are wearing the wrong size bra!!!

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 I will be honest neither one are cheap of they are of GOOD QUALITY! My best ones cost anywhere from $25-$30 but they work wonders!! You can find them in most large department stores in the under garment section. You  Kohl’s and Sears have affordable prices for everyday women.

Some ladies refuse to squeeze into body shapers these due to comfort-ability but to that I say: suck it up!  Giggle! No really. You will get use to it over time, and you fall in love with the instant slimming you see in the mirror. P.S. You don’t have to wear one everyday.

This is my body type. I love it! I have mastered how to rock curves with confidence..now let's figure out your type....

This is my body type. I love it! I have mastered how to rock curves with confidence..now let’s figure out your type….

WORK YOUR BODY TYPE: Assess Which One You Are?

Do a GOOGLE search for the best items to fit your body type. For example, I have a whole lot of hips! So I know that I am a pear shape. So I found this picture to show me a visual of celebs with my same body type:

This gives me an easy way to search for clothes and pictures that would look the most flattering on my body!

 Take the Body Type Quiz to determine your body type!

So all in all, muffin tops are not cute nor are too small clothes. Neither are you trying to wear all the latest fads and trends if they don’t look good on your body type. But, the key to looking your best always is to work what you got—but in a classy way!


:::BONUS::: — Here is a great episode of Dr. Oz Secrets of Plus Sized Models where Plus Size models discuss their secrets to looking fabulous and slim at any size!!! They offer some really good tips and tricks girls!

Disclaimer: This post is meant for short term use, and in no way shape or form does it promote women to not live healthy lifestyles or make healthier choices in regards to eating and exercises for permanent weight loss and good health.

What is your body type? How do you work it?

7 Decorating Ideas to Make Your Bedroom Fit For a Queen


Few people know this about me but, one thing I really love is interior designing. Love it!  Every regal woman may not have a home fit for a queen on the outside, a room to themselves, or even a place to call your own quite yet, but that does not mean that you can’t have a space where you live that is fit for a queen! Making your bedroom your sanctuary will be a decision you will be glad you made on those days when you return to your humble abode.

You deserve a space that embodies the real you, and makes you feel like a regal queen when you enter!  

See pictures at the end of post for ideas!!!!!!

Here are seven ways to turn your bedroom into your sanctuary:


You will never get a room fit for a queen if there is stuff everywhere! First things first…clean up and toss out everything you don’t need. This includes a closet clean out day….donate your stuff to a place like Goodwill.


Select the theme you want for your room: modern feel, purple and gold, vintage style, fashionista central, etc (make it authentic to you!). If you share, consult with the other person and select something that gets you both…COMPROMISE!


Let’s face it: white walls can be boring….painting can spice up any room. Keep in mind that different colors produce different moods and effects.


Photo from SugarLuxe.com

 4.   COVER UP!

If you haven’t already, purchase at least two sheet sets with matching comforters that represent your theme and/or compliment your paint. Something as simple as having matching sheets and comforter can change your perception of your room. Mixed match sets will make you feel mixed up yourself believe it or not. There is a certain peace that comes with having a coordinating bed set.

 5. MOVE IT!

Move your furniture around. I use to do this faithfully, and it does shift your perspective on your room…makes it feel new and fresh. Or purchase some new pieces! Goodwill is a very inexpensive place to get some new furniture to spice up your room.


Make your room more intimate and personal by purchasing smaller lamp(s) or other lighting fixtures to go in your room instead of using the big light on the ceiling all the time.


Add personal touches throughout your room that add to your theme! This includes pictures, posters, portraits, additional furniture, stylish curtains, items to go on top of a dresser, places to put your jewelry and organize your shoes, etc. THESE LITTLE TOUCHES MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE BECAUSE THEY REPRESENT YOU!!!

How you feel in this space will determine your mood!

Your bedroom (heck, your whole house) should be a place of total peace and relaxation! It should feel like home sweet home.

What do you do to personalize your bedroom or house?

9 Ways to Tell If You Are a Confident Woman


Are you the woman that men love and women admire (sometimes envy)? Find out if you got what it takes to be seen as a confident woman. The type that little girls want to emulate and grown woman want to celebrate and collaborate with! This my friend is when you have achieved Regal Realness. Have regal are you?


1. You know your worth

You recognize that you are REGAL. A woman who is worthy of all good things: good life, good men, good food, good jobs, good shoes, good blessings, etc.

2. You accept yourself flaws and all

You have accepted your REAL self. You know you are not perfect. You know you are flawed yet still beautiful and worthy. You know that your failures, setbacks, mistakes, and past hurts do not define you. Yet, you embrace them, forgive them, heal yourself from them.

3. You look in the mirror and smile

When you look in the mirror you see beauty. You see the most beautiful girl in the world. You are not complaining or fussing in your head or aloud. And if it has to do with your weight, you have recognized that “when you love yourself, your weight will take care of itself.” Thus, you don’t focus most of your time in the mirror on any flaws you may have.

4. You see other women as collaborators rather than competition

You recognize that there will always be someone better then you. But, you don’t see other woman as competition rather you compliment them on their success, and instead seek to collaborate with them and use their talents, strengths, and abilities to enhance your own and vice versa.

5.  You inspire others to want better

When you start inspiring other men and women to want better lives, and to think more highly of themselves then you are empowering people to be more confident.

6. Your presence is obvious and noticed

People recognize you when you speak or enter a room and say no words. A man can recognize your regal realness without you saying a word. This attracts him because he knows he will have to work harder to get a woman who knows who she is and what she wants out of life. If you are unforgettable in a positive way…you are glowing from the inside out!

7. You attract good men

You notice you attract new kinds of men to you. You attract ones who are serious, committed, loyal, respectful, romantic, and possibly interested in marriage. You also recognize how comfortable you are in the presence of men and while in relationships.

8. You take pride in your appearance

You walk out of the house fierce and fly. You rock your own unique style, and you own it! You don’t look run down, sloppy, or all over the place. It is evident you out thought into what you were going to wear, and you put effort into doing your hair for the day. You can tell you love your hair by its baeauty and care. You recognize your body type and pair it with your own style, and dress accordingly. Often times making a fashion statement.

9. You are living your dreams

You are  working towards or living out the life you have always dreamed of. You may help others build their dreams, but you also invest quality time in your own dream or hustle!

What other traits would you add to the list?






Do you believe in The Secret? Making 2013 the Year of YOU!!!

thesecret    The Secret is an ancient concept. It is not new by any means. It has stirred great controversy for some, particularly the religious. The question is, do you believe in the secret? According to The Secret, which involves the law of attraction is the belief that everything that you want is possible if you envision it first. It follows the cliché: If you can see it, you can be it, if you believe it, you can achieve it.

There is truth to the secret, except it really isn’t a secret at all since people have known this for centuries. So then why is it called the secret? Perhaps because most people fail to believe in it. I for one, believe it, wholeheartedly. I have seen its power. Most likely because I am a dreamer. I am a doer. I am a thinker. I am an achiever. I believe inside and out that I am great. I believe strongly that I am to be loved, respected, wealthy, and thankful! I believe all people should live good lives, and that all people can be great. I’ve always believed that. Maybe that’s why I am a teacher by day and a women empowerment blogger by night. It is all aligned because I believed it, I prayed about it, I worked towards it, and because I ENVISIONED IT!



It is my belief that thoughts become things. Thoughts are real! The fact that you can visualize in your head how people look or act or how what I read in a book looks in real life is not a coincidence. The fact that tons of women envision what their ideal man will be like or the wedding day is not a coincidence. Though we get mad if we don’t get that. That doesn’t mean the secret is failing us. That means we have not aligned our thoughts with our core values and beliefs. It means we are not being totally REAL with ourselves. I am guilty of this in certain areas of my life such as my health whereas other areas such as my career I am a rock star at this!

Anything you want to change about your life can be done! It all starts with you. It starts with you recognize the not so secret to having anything you want in life. This simply means you need to get clear with yourself about WHO YOU ARE and WHAT OU REALLY WANT YOUR LIFE TO BE LIKE. Then visualize it!

What do you look like at your ideal weight?

What does your future husband look like?

At your day job, how do you really want to feel?

When you look at your bank account, what do the numbers look like?

A goal is just a wish until it is written down, and without a vision the people perish. Perish no more my friend!

Get with it in 2013. Hell, why not start now!

Regal Realness will be starting its first Regal Girl Challenge:

“2013 Vision Board Challenge” in one week!

Join our e-mail list in order to be a part of it: http://eepurl.com/nOBS9

Look out for an e-mail with more information!!!


Vision Board: A vision board is a collage of images, pictures and affirmations of your dreams and desires






When you actually let your dreams out and put it to paper you would be amazed at what you accomplish!


Are you up for the challenge?

Are you ready to unleash all of your SECRET dreams and desires to the world so you can start making BIG moves in 2013?

Color Me Confident: 4 Ways to Increase Your “Regal Realness”


“To be regal is to be worthy. To be real is to be authentic. Let real recognize real. Excellence should always be at the top of every girl’s list”

Regal Realness is about staying true to your self—the real you (culture, identity, heritage) while empowering you for the throne as the regal (empowered, educated, motivated, and determined) woman you are. It is about staying true to yourself but becoming a women of excellence all at the same time.  We believe that you don’t have to give up who you are or where you are from to become a woman of great character, of great morals, of great presence, of great intelligence, and of great success.

 Here are four ways to increase your confidence at any age and tap into the “regal” being inside of us all:

1. Find a Mentor

Find a person who can lift you up. Find a person who you look up to. You should always surround yourself with people who are your equal or above. “Iron sharpens iron.” If you want to be ‘regal’ then you have to spend time with regal women who are role models. Spending your time with the wrong people could cost you big time in the long run. I learned in 7th grade that, “if someone shows you their friends—they’re showing you there future.” Only hang with individuals who will take you to the next level and/or encourage you where you are.


 2. Master your Thoughts

If you master your mind, you master your life. If you can control your thinking you can be anything you want to be and have anything you want to have. Why do you think there are some people who are billionaires at 14 like Farrah Gray while others are 68 and still struggling to make a dollar. Circumstance, socio-economic status, race, gender, disability, neglectful or absent parents, etc—none of those are excuses! There are millions of people who succeeded despite these categories we are pushed into. If you want to master your thoughts you need to create daily affirmations to tell yourself daily. Essentially, you want to “fake it till you make it.” Your mind doesn’t know the difference. The more you say it the more you will start to believe it. It is cliché but it is true: If you believe it then you will be it! Real Talk: You wouldn’t believe all of the good things that will begin to happen as a result of saying affirmations daily.

One of my daily affirmations: I have a vision, determination, and inspiration, as well as massive amounts of self-esteem and self-confidence.

3. Create a Vision Board

Vision Board Example from: browngirlnextdoor.com

Vision Board Example from: browngirlnextdoor.com

“Without a vision the people perish” the Bible said it best. You – Vision = Perish, Dreams Deferred, Unhappy, and the list goes on. If you want to see different results then you have to do something different. We all have a vision inside of us of who we are and who we want to become. Sit down one night or day, grab a couple of magazines or pictures from the internet and cut out images that represent the life you envision yourself having. Make it beautiful-regal but keep it real with all these—YOU! Put the images on a poster board, cork board, or any other space (even on your computer background) you have to make it visible daily. It will remind you of where you are headed and keep you focused. I have been using vision boards for 2 years, and they are a success!

4. Speak Up

Everyone has a voice inside of them. Use yours! Speak up if these suggestions aren’t working. If you are doing everything you can to be happy, to succeed in school or work, to get a boyfriend who loves you for you and makes you happy, to get the healthy hair you want, to be fit and go to the gym but none of these things ever seem to happen then it is time you ask for help. Then it is your time to speak up!!! YOU ARE WHO YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!

Audre Lorde said it best, “When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed.
But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.”



Tap Into Your Passions and Creativity with Julene Fleurmond

Julene Fleurmond: Artist. Inspirer. Writer. Dreamer. Speaker. Entrepreneur.

RR: Tell Me About Yourself.  Explain the idea of a “Renaissance Dreamer”

JF: Currently I am a graduate student studying public health. I see myself as a renaissance dreamer. I see myself in art, writing, and things like that. I call myself a renaissance dreamer. I went to the library one day, my eye caught on a book on the shelf. I knew it wasn’t a coincidence. It was called, Renaissance Soul. The book helped me realize I don’t have to stick just one of my passions. In there I learned that there are some people who are multi-talented and passionate such as Maya Angelou or Benjamin Franklin. They each had different interest and they merged them together. I am learning how to balance that now.

RR: Is there one quote that really speaks to your soul that you would like to share?

JF: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
― Howard Thurman

RR: Can you describe your different enterprises and where people can find these?

www.dreamfleur.comGeared toward women and inspiring them to find their artistic passion and be more creative.

www.dreamerent.comGeared towards teens and preteens. I am a youth motivational speaker, too. On that site I try to find the most inspiring young people. I try to find young people who are doing things such as starting their own business, and then I showcase them.

www.dreaminsoul.comFaith based website where it urges young adults to find their purpose in God, and find what it is God has put you on this earth to do. It is important for young people to use whatever creativity you have that can help God.

www.envibrance.comMy main business website. This is my umbrella website. Through this I do graphic design services to help people brand themselves and websites. I also have inspirational apparel.  

RR: Why is it so important for women to learn how to express themselves in creative ways? (such as writing, art, etc)

JF: I think it is important because people were made to create and we were made creatively. It is a way to add beauty to the world. It is a part of living. Do it to the best of your ability. We are here to do something great! Don’t let fear stand in your way…no matter how old you are or how young you are. Take a step out there and do it.

RR: What are 3-5 ways that women can tap into their passions or creative side more?


  • Do! Take time to think about what you really enjoy doing (not what you can do well or what other people think you do well). The more I painted the more I got more into it. Painting gets me more excited about art.
  • Reflect! Think back to your childhood (a lot of times what we love doing when we are young is our passion. As we grow older we move away from it as  life happens)
  • Explore! (Even if you don’t think you will like something, try it!  Try an exotic recipe, a museum, a restaurant. There is inspiration everywhere!)

Julene’s design inspired by her natural hair journey. Print available as poster, t-shirt, and bags: http://tinyurl.com/cwnpz4b

RR: What advice would you give to women considering entrepreneurship as their next big venture in their life?

JF: First, get very clear about what it is you want to do. What service or product are you going to offer? Have a niche. Focus on who you will be serving and exactly what you will be serving. Start small and then grow. Don’t try to meet everyone’s need and then do one or two offerings.  

RR: What new ventures do you have coming up?

JF: In the spring, planning to do more traveling and more youth motivational speaking. I use to always be afraid to pursue my passion of singing. But I have began taking classes and working on improving vocally and writing songs. In the next couple of years I am also working on two books.  One for teenagers and one for twentysomethings.

RR: When you think of the word regal what do you think of?

JF: Royal, Standing tall, and knowing who you are and knowing you are created and knowing that you are beautifully and wonderfully made

RR: When you think of the word real what do you think of?

JF: Being true and living your true identity and calling

 What are you passionate about?