Regal Realness.com has Arrived!

A few weeks ago I told you I would be delivering soon, and today is the day!

Say hello to my baby! Visit www.regalrealness.com

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Leave a comment, read, submit a guest post, send me some feedback, learn more about me, follow and join the e-mail list. etc. Enjoy yourself!!

 

5 Life Lessons Beyonce’s Documentary Reminded Me Of

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I finally caught the replay of Beyonce’s highly anticipated documentary, Life is a But a Dream. It was so powerful I just had to write about it. As I watched I felt moved by Bey’s vulnerability and honesty in regards to her life and experiences. It takes a strong woman to disclose such personal information in a way that is both tasteful and non-intrusive to her life. There were so many aspects of that she shared that connected me instantly.

Whenever I see great women speak I always feel an instant connection of spirits. As I know deep inside that I was meant to be great just as them. After watching I was overcome with emotion because Beyonce reminded me of some of the best life lessons I’ve learned too, and ones that all woman should learn as early as possible. So here they are:

1.Everyone has a purpose and can be great

It is evident that Tina and Matthew Knowles cultivated their baby’s gifts and talents early in life. Hence, the reason why she is a powerhouse to be reckoned with now. Imagine if all parent’s did this. It reminded me of how thankful I am that my mother always did the same for me.
Beyonce’s drive and passion for her work is directly linked to the fact that she has found her purpose in life, and has worked her tail off to be great. To be the best. Now, that is genius right there.

2.You create the life you want to live

Beyonce lives a beautiful life but only because she created it. She envisioned it and then she lived it. She has people around her that also speak to and pray to her ability to be great. Beyonce appeared to be very strategic about living even so much so that she even mentions that she always struggle with figuring out how much she should reveal. Strategic thinkers create the life of their dreams. How are you thinking about your life at the present moment?

If this isn’t the best life lesson I’ve ever learned then I don’t know what is. Not quite sure where I learned this for the first time but it is the most important one in my book.

3. You must take risk even at the cost of losing people, places, or things

Beyonce took a risk when she let her father go to become independent. Letting her father go was painful for her, but she also recognized how valuable being independent was for her. She gained an even greater appreciation for him once she realized how great a job he did preparing her to be a business woman.  In the end her risk taking resulted in making a  decision that was necessary and needed in order for her to grow into the woman she is today.

4.To whom much is given, much is required

This is a life lesson I also learned early on because this is the story of my life. Beyonce felt the same way. No doubt, she is super blesse,d but as a result so much is expected of her. This is why she is constantly slammed and praised in the media for her every move. Can you imagine living your life in the public eye like her? I know I couldn’t.

5. Telling your own story and truth is very powerful

Instead of hearing the tabloids and he said, she said Beyonce telling her own story on her own terms was a powerful force! Hearing her truth from her lips help me to connect to her as a woman and as a human being. I could feel what she was saying as opposed to reading a headline declaring something about her.

Telling your story heals you and it also connects you with others which was her intention. She reminded me of the tremendous power womanhood has and the beauty of being an imperfectly perfect human being.

What lessons were you reminded of or learn for the first time?

*P.S. New website is almost finished! Will post details as soon as it is finished.*

Why Does She Always Get the Happy Ever After?

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The Happy Ever After Girl Defined

You know the type got it going on, nails done, hair done, everything did, always smiling, gets the good guys, gets the baby or the ring before others, her Facebook never has a dull moment, her Twitter account is on fire, always getting opportunities, always seems to be on to something good! Homegirl is working it, and doing it well. Jealously sometimes creeps in there if your life may not seem as glamorous! Of course, this varies!!

But, why does she always get the happy ever after you might ask? Is she better than you?

Well, I’m here to tell you that so-and-so is NOT better than you.

So-and-so is not smarter then you, more beautiful then you, more blessed then you, or more favored then you. Nope!

Why Her?

She always gets the happy ever after for one reason and one reason alone: BECAUSE SHE BELIEVES SHE DESERVES IT! She believes she is worthy and regal. She believes she deserves the best and will not settle for less. She hustles and works hard for the life she has whether it brings good results or bad results.

What  “HAPPY EVER AFTER” women share (no we’re not talking fairytales here, Cinderella especially!) are solely their BELIEFS in how they believe their life should go! Our thoughts are in direct relation to the life we lead!

What Does the Happy Ever After Girl Think About?

  • What are your thoughts saying about the life you lead?
  • What is your life saying about the thoughts you’ve had?
  • Have you came up with a vision for the way your life should be? Have you worked that vision so it becomes a reality?

Getting to happy means you get into you FIRST!

Getting to Happy

While you’re wondering why she is “HAVING IT ALL” and “LIVING IT UP” she is living her life like it’s golden while you’re sitting around jealous, bitter, angry, (or even just settling for less) instead of getting the life you want!

The happy ever after girl once thought she could, and then she went after it that makes her seem so envious! Instead of envying her see what she is doing. “Success leaves clues (Tony Robbin) my friend! Be mindful and cautious of course when following. But do take note!

Go from jealous to joy. Go from envy to excited. Go from bitter to bold.

By ENVISIONING WHAT YOU WANT  (make a vision board) and then GO GET IT (Mary Mary Voice)!!!!

Are you a Happy Ever After Girl? 

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Here are Quick Ways to “Fix Your Life” Iyanla Vanzant Style!

Nobody’s perfect. We all need to fix some aspects of our lives. Iyanla Vanzant’s new show on Oprah’s Network, OWN, has debuted with Basketball Wife, Evelyn Lozada.

Although, I have been reading Iyanla for years, this show provided many insightful take aways for us ladies to really start living FAB and EMPOWERED. Tune into watch to every Saturday at 10pm on OWN. Here is an extended preview to the season: http://tinyurl.com/93hjnl9

Here are Iyanla’s words of wisdom from her episode with Evelyn:

  • Learn to love yourself and it will kick fear OUT!

  • Being afraid and vulnerable are necessary for living fearlessly

  •  Your intuition is your power as a woman

  • You create the energy that follows you around in your life into all areas of living

  • Accept your mistakes and say them open and honestly to yourself

  • Our stories and journeys can also help someone else fix their life

  • You are not your sister’s keeper, you are your sister…you represent all WOMEN!

  • Instead of blaming others, start asking yourself, “Who Am I Being Right Now?”

  • People come into your life and teach you lessons regardless of how they do it

  • People will treat you how you treat yourself and based on what you tolerate

  • It is important to figure out why you are here on earth (ie. I am Evelyn Lozada and I am here to SERVE!)

     

Be honest with yourself so you live in PEACE and not in PIECES!

As you watch episodes add life lessons you learn below to fix OUR lives!

You Don’t Have to be Perfect to Be Pretty

We beat ourselves up over perfection daily! Why? No one in the world is perfect. We all have flaws and we should love ourselves flaws and all! Clothes don’t make the woman. Nor does make-up or shoes. Retail therapy last for a short time, but come morning we may still feel un-confident and unsure. Feeling self-conscious is not an unusual thing for women and men alike, but we can still be happy if we are not the prettiest girl in the world. Or have the best skin. Or the best body. Or the life we really want to live.

It saddens me to see some women rush to get dolled up on the outside but are empty, broken, and self-conscious on the inside. This does not go together ladies! Don’t get me wrong getting dolled up is fun… I love it! But, we have to be better at matching our outside with our INSIDE! We have to step our game up in a world that is constantly challenging womanhood—how we look, act in public, treat men, wear our clothes, etc. Your beauty will shine through only if you take care of yourself on the inside. When the clothes, make-up, and heels are away all of your insecurities will start to play. They will play in front of men on dates, dance around while you’re out with your girls, pop up while you get dressed in the morning for work, and they will keep playing until you address them! Perfect does not equal pretty. A make-up job well done won’t make you perfect or pretty! Clothes and make-up accessorize and accentuate the beauty we all ready posses.

If you want to truly radiate and shine daily look inward and deal with your inner demons that hold you back from fully loving and embracing yourself. You wouldn’t believe the doors that would begin to open to you once you get ‘real’ about who you really are and how you really look. Embrace her. Love her. Smile at her. Accessorize her. Her meaning you—and then shine! When you embrace you, pretty will flow like rivers and the whole world will take notice.

Regal Realness is excited to offer one lucky follower a “REGAL RE-MAKE” (Makeover) soon! Stay tuned for more details.

Oh, the Life of a D.O.L.L.

Recently, a new campaign has been launched by the UNCF, My Black is Beautiful (MBIB), and Black Girls Rock, Inc.  to help young women and girls in the black community feel empowered to go for their dreams. The campaign was “designed to positively impact the lives of one million black girls over the next three years.”  

Imagine a Future is a campaign that will highlight the current state of Black beauty within the media and provide resources to create a higher sense of self-worth and confidence in young women and girls.

“My Black is Beautiful represents a community of over 600,000 strong who come together based on shared experiences and the desire to celebrate everything that makes black women beautiful,” said Linda Clement Holmes, P&G, chief diversity officer and senior vice president, global business service.

 “The launch of Imagine a Future reflects a natural evolution of our mission…

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5 Ways to Sparkle in the Presence of Men!

In honor of Sparkle I did a post that was inspired by my many recent girl talks with friends, and the title of the new movie hitting theaters this week! Being fabulous and empowered means you know how to work a room because you are confident and sure of yourself. Now, if you are really empowered then you know how to ‘sparkle’ in front of men. Many girls and women don’t know how to make this happen because we just simply aren’t taught how. That isn’t at the top of the list in school curriculum or mama’s list of things to teach her little girl. I get that! So here are five tried and true ways to shine with a regal beauty and confidence like never before in the presence of men!

1. Speak It Into Existence

You become what you believe! Say this to yourself: I am a beautiful, regal, and magnetic queen! All men want to get to know me and date me. They want to treat me well and believe I am a queen to be respected and taken care of really well.

 2. Dress The Part

Whether it is true or not, I recently read that men are 80% more visual than women. This is widely accepted between both sexes. Regardless of its validity the  truth is that men like looking at women! We all know this. Men like something ‘good’ to look at. Therefore, if you want to sparkle—always look your best when you come outside! Even if you are just running to the store, doing errands, or picking someone up. I cringed when I see pretty girls out in bonnets or pajama pants or even dried lips or sloppy looking jeans with muffin tops. Dress the part, more so for yourself, then the men. When you look good, you feel good, then you come off to others good (in positive and confident ways). You never know–what if you met the man of your dreams today and you looked a hot mess?

Picture: Jordin Sparks in Sparkle

 3. Flirt

There are multiple flirting styles. Find the 5 types here and this has a quiz to help you learn yours if you’re not sure: http://www.tressugar.com/Flirting-Styles-11904057. Learn yours and then work it! My friend and I discovered this last year and realized we had different flirting styles, but both work for our respective personalities and the type of relationships we were interested in.

4. Be Yourself

This is hard—I know! Be you. I know you probably hate when people tell you this. But, I am telling you again just be you. Don’t put on a front, airs, or try to act like you are a different type of woman just so they will like you. If it does turn into a date or a relationship you will have to start revealing who you really are which is harder to do on a daily basis. FYI: Guys noticed when you are faking it!  

 5. Smile

Seems so basic and simple, but a smile can go a long way. Practice your beautiful smile in the mirror more often while you say beautiful things to yourself in your head. This will boost your confidence and prepare you to ease into an award winning smile in the presence of men! Think about it why would a man be interested in a gal who didn’t smile…not attractive! He needs to know you have life and soul inside of you girl!

I want you to sparkle in the presence of men whether you are single, dating, or married. It will make you more confident and it will help you shine. It will help you snag a man or remind you that you still got it! Good luck ladies…one more step to become a fabulous & empowered you!!

6 Books to Raise Your Cultural Consciousness

This post is dedicated to my dear friend, Alicen, who shares her cultural enlightment learning experiences with me daily, and she gets it!  She understand that our liberation and empowerment as women of color are bound together. She understands that we are better off because we have learned more about who we are on deeper levels!

In order to live a fabulous and empowered life it is crucial that you not only love yourself but know yourself. Know where you come from, and how that contributes to your identity, society, and the quality of life you live. It is my belief that to be fully empowered you have to be conscious of your cultural heritage. Color meets confidence when it completely embraces the person they are: skin color, beauty, body shape, strengths, weaknesses, family, life experiences, etc. One of the best ways to learn more about yourself and your fellow man is to educate yourself. I believe the best way to do this is to read!

1. The Autobiography of Malcolm by Alex Haley

I read this as a freshman in college…all 400+ pages and this has to be the best book I’ve ever read! I have yet to meet someone who has read this book who disliked it or did not finish reading without raising their level of knowledge in regards to race in America and a new level of cultural consciousness about their identity. This book is a story of transformation, and about a boy growing into a man! It shows that education is the best way to liberation for any person.

2. For Colored Girls Who Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf by Ntozake Shange

Although most of today’s women know this as a Tyler Perry movie; it is well worth it to read the original choreopoems that tells the stories of nine African American women and how their lives intertwine through life experiences that change their perceptions of the world. It is a beautiful account of women coming together during tough times, and finding out where true regal realness really lies—inside of us.

3. Black Feminist Thought by Patricia Hill Collins

If you really want to get some learning done…read Ms. Collins! She will take you through many different facets of black womanhood from motherhood, complicated black male-female relationships, to family structure, down to stereotypes of black women (jezebel, mammy, welfare queen, etc). This is a must have! The revised edition includes connections to similar stories to women of color from all backgrounds and also internationally.

4. The Bluest Eyes by Toni Morrison

This book brings up many ideals surrounding colorism which is an issue for all women of color including white women (ie. tanning/paleness), etc. Morrison tells the story of a young black girl name Pecola who feels she is inferior because she doesn’t have blue eyes or white skin.

5. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

This classic is an autobiography of Angelou’s life, as well as the title of one of her famous poems. Angelou recounts her adolescence and young adult years and experiences. Her message reveals strength and resilience in the face of racism during her early life.

6. Why I Love Black Women by Michael Eric Dyson

I read this in high school, and will never forget it. Dyson shares his experiences with black women throughout his life. Every chapter he discusses someone new such as his elementary teacher who inspired him to do his best. This book seeks to shatter the negative stereotypes that black women are often subjected to.

These books don’t even scratch the surface of the many books or even films you could watch that would open your eyes to deepening your cultural conscious. I would also recommend the following: Souls of Black Folk by WEB Dubois, The Miseducation of the Negro by Carter G. Woodson, How It Feels to be Colored Me by Zora Neale Hurtson, One Day My Soul Just Opened Up: 40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth by Iyanla Vanzant, RACE: The Power of an Illusion DVD set, and the list goes on.

Have you read these? Are there others you would suggest?