REAL TALK: GUEST POSTS

Regal Realness wants to hear your voices ladies!

Regal Realness wants to hear your voices ladies!

Send your submissions to: trenee@regalrealness.com

See previously posted guest submissions and see details below for new submissions!

mental%20health

Why Black Women Need to Fight for Mental Health

By:  Guest Blogger Michelle Gilliam of Black with the Blues (11/27/12 )

Since the time we arrived here as slaves, black women have had to continually evolve in order to survive the oppressive forces placed on us. From the Reconstruction Era to the second wave feminist movement in the 1970’s, black women juggled the responsibilities of being the breadwinner and having to tend to stereotypical motherly duties. Even nowadays, many take in nieces, nephews, grandchildren, foster kids, etc.

As matriarchs of our communities, black women have historically been leaders who others rely on for emotional and financial support. For this reason, we should take our responsibilities a step further and lead the fight against mental illness.

As pillars of our communities, we have the strength needed to combat the ignorance and stigma that keeps people from getting the help they need. Because of socioeconomic and psychological factors, black people the rates of mental illness are disproportionately higher than other races in America. Black people make up approximately 25% of the mental health needs in this country though they only make up 12- 13% of the national population!

Untreated mental health is often the reason behind the poor quality of our schools, violence in our streets and the breakdown of our families. Black people, women especially, often believe it is necessary to be strong even during difficult times. Symptoms of certain mental illnesses such as depression and Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) are often viewed as signs of weakness and poor character. These falsehoods only feed into the stigma causing those affected additional pain.

Just like we remember to attend each school board meeting, and how we always show up at every protest, black women should exercise that same urgency and rally against poor mental health care in our communities. We need to be creative with our strategies, as well. For instance, churches are leading institutions where people turn to for guidance, charity, health care, food and sense of community. How incredible would it be for us to start the dialogue there? Some churches already offer marriage counseling.Why not expand upon that and offer support groups and have licensed mental health professionals donate some of their time?

If our elderly parents become lethargic and withdrawn, it is possible that they aren’t just getting old and may instead be depressed. That “crazy” cousin of ours can very well have an illness associated with paranoia from which they can seek treatment from. Mental illnesses are never contagious, but rarely affect just the person suffering.  The possibilities are endless and we, as black women, can have a huge impact on the state of our community. We truly need to be at the forefront in the fight against mental illness within our communities in order to see a change occur!

Please check out Michelle’s Blog here: www.blackwiththeblues.com

 

Whoever Said Love Hurts Lied by Ecletically Me (10/7/12)

Another untruth that needs to be addressed is that ‘love hurts’. While angry with your significant other-or even a family member-tears are streaming down your face and you say to yourself, “love sucks” or ”love hurts”. No, no, and no my dear. Love doesn’t suck nor hurt. We’ve misconstrued the things that people do, with love being hurtful. People’s actions and  words  hurt us. Love doesn’t do that. Love cannot hurt us because it just wasn’t designed that way. Experiencing an adverse reaction from loving someone is indicative of  an issue that is relative to the persons involved. Not Love. Love, on its own is conflict-free. However, people are not.

According to 1Corinthians 13: 4-8, love is a host of things, and hurtful isn’t one of them. We must stop confusing our hurt from others with love. I’ve heard people say that they don’t want to be hurt and this is why they fear falling in love. What a disservice they are doing to themselves. Falling in love shouldn’t be feared. Love can do no wrong. But people can. Love isn’t deceitful. People though, are. If God is supposed to be love, how can we then say that love hurts? God doesn’t hurts us. We hurt each other. We even at times inflict pain upon our own selves because of our own actions and decisions that we make. I too have been hurt and felt that I was wronged by this thing called love. Now being older and much wiser, I can now say that love didn’t do it. It was always a collective effort on my behalf  and the other person involved.

We must also learn to be careful who we give our love/heart to. If we do not take great care in this, then yes, we will find ourselves in hurtful situations more often than we would like. Stop letting others’ victimize your love. Better yet, stop blaming love and blame yourself and the person whom you let do it. Love is Perfect. Not Reckless. Love is Grand. Not Wack. Love is Beautiful. Not Ugly. If you first love God and yourself before sharing it with someone else, you just may find that your relationship experiences would be a lot less negative. *Somebody just got mad right there.* Lol At the end of the day ‘people’ only do what you allow them to. Love on the other hand does just what it’s supposed to. Never Fail.

xoxo

EM

PLEASE CHECK OUT EM’s blog here: http://eclecticmanure.com/

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