Why Does She Always Get the Happy Ever After?


The Happy Ever After Girl Defined

You know the type got it going on, nails done, hair done, everything did, always smiling, gets the good guys, gets the baby or the ring before others, her Facebook never has a dull moment, her Twitter account is on fire, always getting opportunities, always seems to be on to something good! Homegirl is working it, and doing it well. Jealously sometimes creeps in there if your life may not seem as glamorous! Of course, this varies!!

But, why does she always get the happy ever after you might ask? Is she better than you?

Well, I’m here to tell you that so-and-so is NOT better than you.

So-and-so is not smarter then you, more beautiful then you, more blessed then you, or more favored then you. Nope!

Why Her?

She always gets the happy ever after for one reason and one reason alone: BECAUSE SHE BELIEVES SHE DESERVES IT! She believes she is worthy and regal. She believes she deserves the best and will not settle for less. She hustles and works hard for the life she has whether it brings good results or bad results.

What  “HAPPY EVER AFTER” women share (no we’re not talking fairytales here, Cinderella especially!) are solely their BELIEFS in how they believe their life should go! Our thoughts are in direct relation to the life we lead!

What Does the Happy Ever After Girl Think About?

  • What are your thoughts saying about the life you lead?
  • What is your life saying about the thoughts you’ve had?
  • Have you came up with a vision for the way your life should be? Have you worked that vision so it becomes a reality?

Getting to happy means you get into you FIRST!

Getting to Happy

While you’re wondering why she is “HAVING IT ALL” and “LIVING IT UP” she is living her life like it’s golden while you’re sitting around jealous, bitter, angry, (or even just settling for less) instead of getting the life you want!

The happy ever after girl once thought she could, and then she went after it that makes her seem so envious! Instead of envying her see what she is doing. “Success leaves clues (Tony Robbin) my friend! Be mindful and cautious of course when following. But do take note!

Go from jealous to joy. Go from envy to excited. Go from bitter to bold.

By ENVISIONING WHAT YOU WANT  (make a vision board) and then GO GET IT (Mary Mary Voice)!!!!

Are you a Happy Ever After Girl? 


Do you believe in The Secret? Making 2013 the Year of YOU!!!

thesecret    The Secret is an ancient concept. It is not new by any means. It has stirred great controversy for some, particularly the religious. The question is, do you believe in the secret? According to The Secret, which involves the law of attraction is the belief that everything that you want is possible if you envision it first. It follows the cliché: If you can see it, you can be it, if you believe it, you can achieve it.

There is truth to the secret, except it really isn’t a secret at all since people have known this for centuries. So then why is it called the secret? Perhaps because most people fail to believe in it. I for one, believe it, wholeheartedly. I have seen its power. Most likely because I am a dreamer. I am a doer. I am a thinker. I am an achiever. I believe inside and out that I am great. I believe strongly that I am to be loved, respected, wealthy, and thankful! I believe all people should live good lives, and that all people can be great. I’ve always believed that. Maybe that’s why I am a teacher by day and a women empowerment blogger by night. It is all aligned because I believed it, I prayed about it, I worked towards it, and because I ENVISIONED IT!



It is my belief that thoughts become things. Thoughts are real! The fact that you can visualize in your head how people look or act or how what I read in a book looks in real life is not a coincidence. The fact that tons of women envision what their ideal man will be like or the wedding day is not a coincidence. Though we get mad if we don’t get that. That doesn’t mean the secret is failing us. That means we have not aligned our thoughts with our core values and beliefs. It means we are not being totally REAL with ourselves. I am guilty of this in certain areas of my life such as my health whereas other areas such as my career I am a rock star at this!

Anything you want to change about your life can be done! It all starts with you. It starts with you recognize the not so secret to having anything you want in life. This simply means you need to get clear with yourself about WHO YOU ARE and WHAT OU REALLY WANT YOUR LIFE TO BE LIKE. Then visualize it!

What do you look like at your ideal weight?

What does your future husband look like?

At your day job, how do you really want to feel?

When you look at your bank account, what do the numbers look like?

A goal is just a wish until it is written down, and without a vision the people perish. Perish no more my friend!

Get with it in 2013. Hell, why not start now!

Regal Realness will be starting its first Regal Girl Challenge:

“2013 Vision Board Challenge” in one week!

Join our e-mail list in order to be a part of it: http://eepurl.com/nOBS9

Look out for an e-mail with more information!!!


Vision Board: A vision board is a collage of images, pictures and affirmations of your dreams and desires






When you actually let your dreams out and put it to paper you would be amazed at what you accomplish!


Are you up for the challenge?

Are you ready to unleash all of your SECRET dreams and desires to the world so you can start making BIG moves in 2013?

Color Me Confident: 4 Ways to Increase Your “Regal Realness”


“To be regal is to be worthy. To be real is to be authentic. Let real recognize real. Excellence should always be at the top of every girl’s list”

Regal Realness is about staying true to your self—the real you (culture, identity, heritage) while empowering you for the throne as the regal (empowered, educated, motivated, and determined) woman you are. It is about staying true to yourself but becoming a women of excellence all at the same time.  We believe that you don’t have to give up who you are or where you are from to become a woman of great character, of great morals, of great presence, of great intelligence, and of great success.

 Here are four ways to increase your confidence at any age and tap into the “regal” being inside of us all:

1. Find a Mentor

Find a person who can lift you up. Find a person who you look up to. You should always surround yourself with people who are your equal or above. “Iron sharpens iron.” If you want to be ‘regal’ then you have to spend time with regal women who are role models. Spending your time with the wrong people could cost you big time in the long run. I learned in 7th grade that, “if someone shows you their friends—they’re showing you there future.” Only hang with individuals who will take you to the next level and/or encourage you where you are.


 2. Master your Thoughts

If you master your mind, you master your life. If you can control your thinking you can be anything you want to be and have anything you want to have. Why do you think there are some people who are billionaires at 14 like Farrah Gray while others are 68 and still struggling to make a dollar. Circumstance, socio-economic status, race, gender, disability, neglectful or absent parents, etc—none of those are excuses! There are millions of people who succeeded despite these categories we are pushed into. If you want to master your thoughts you need to create daily affirmations to tell yourself daily. Essentially, you want to “fake it till you make it.” Your mind doesn’t know the difference. The more you say it the more you will start to believe it. It is cliché but it is true: If you believe it then you will be it! Real Talk: You wouldn’t believe all of the good things that will begin to happen as a result of saying affirmations daily.

One of my daily affirmations: I have a vision, determination, and inspiration, as well as massive amounts of self-esteem and self-confidence.

3. Create a Vision Board

Vision Board Example from: browngirlnextdoor.com

Vision Board Example from: browngirlnextdoor.com

“Without a vision the people perish” the Bible said it best. You – Vision = Perish, Dreams Deferred, Unhappy, and the list goes on. If you want to see different results then you have to do something different. We all have a vision inside of us of who we are and who we want to become. Sit down one night or day, grab a couple of magazines or pictures from the internet and cut out images that represent the life you envision yourself having. Make it beautiful-regal but keep it real with all these—YOU! Put the images on a poster board, cork board, or any other space (even on your computer background) you have to make it visible daily. It will remind you of where you are headed and keep you focused. I have been using vision boards for 2 years, and they are a success!

4. Speak Up

Everyone has a voice inside of them. Use yours! Speak up if these suggestions aren’t working. If you are doing everything you can to be happy, to succeed in school or work, to get a boyfriend who loves you for you and makes you happy, to get the healthy hair you want, to be fit and go to the gym but none of these things ever seem to happen then it is time you ask for help. Then it is your time to speak up!!! YOU ARE WHO YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!

Audre Lorde said it best, “When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed.
But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.”



Master Your Mind, Master Your Life

 “I freed a thousand slaves I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.”

– Harriet Tubman

 I couldn’t help but think of these words as I drove through my hometown. It was the brilliant and bold words of this quote that ran through my mind. From boarded up houses, to grown men hustling and bustling on street corners, to girls with no remorse rocking bonnets, and children running freely without supervision. Unfortunately, with recent shootings and violence in my city it has been upsetting to say the least. None of which I’ve never heard of before, but as a recent college graduate I can’t help but think that my newfound education has given me a new lens to view the world. Parts of my city surrounded by the scent of poverty that Zora Neale Hurtson nailed, “There is something about poverty that smells like death. Dead dreams dropping off the heart like leaves in a dry season and rotting around the feet; The soul lives in sickly air.”

As I rode through I envisioned all of the dead dreams and dried up potential that I imagined deep-seated in the depths of these people’s hearts, minds and souls. No matter how run down it may look on the outside. Everyone has a dream and purpose locked inside of them. Although I have never lived this life, and I cannot directly say I know this exact struggle, but I know a thing or two. I am not “about that life.” But, I am about freedom. I am about justice. I am about liberation. I am about education.

If only some people knew they were trapped in the slave mindset as Tubman reminds us in the quote one could liberate oneself above the cycles of generational poverty and family curses. If only those slaves changed their mindset they could have been set free! Harriet even knew this way back when. How come so many are missing it today still?

However a conflict often arises inside me because I have to also recognize that oppression, poverty, ghettos, and hoods were not solely created by the people who live in them. Let’s not forget what 2Pac said best, “They got money for the war but can’t feed the poor.” It always leaves me stuck between a rock and a hard place. Who is to blame? Who is to change?

As we see nationally and locally nothing can change as quick as our minds can. True liberation comes when the people affected change their thoughts. Our thoughts become our life. If you master your mind, you master your life. Harriet understood that. She owned that. She took that and she risked her life believing that. She died knowing that. I live knowing that I can be who and whatever I want to be because I create my own life based on what I THINK of myself and my circumstances. It is not a matter of what the government, programs, or society will do for us, it is really a matter of what we are willing to do for ourselves to get the lives we truly deserve. This is a lesson we all could learn from.


What do you think? Do you agree or disagree?