Why Black Women Need to Fight for Mental Health

By:  Guest Blogger Michelle Gilliam of Black with the Blues

Since the time we arrived here as slaves, black women have had to continually evolve in order to survive the oppressive forces placed on us. From the Reconstruction Era to the second wave feminist movement in the 1970’s, black women juggled the responsibilities of being the breadwinner and having to tend to stereotypical motherly duties. Even nowadays, many take in nieces, nephews, grandchildren, foster kids, etc.

As matriarchs of our communities, black women have historically been leaders who others rely on for emotional and financial support. For this reason, we should take our responsibilities a step further and lead the fight against mental illness.

As pillars of our communities, we have the strength needed to combat the ignorance and stigma that keeps people from getting the help they need. Because of socioeconomic and psychological factors, black people the rates of mental illness are disproportionately higher than other races in America. Black people make up approximately 25% of the mental health needs in this country though they only make up 12- 13% of the national population!

Untreated mental health is often the reason behind the poor quality of our schools, violence in our streets and the breakdown of our families. Black people, women especially, often believe it is necessary to be strong even during difficult times. Symptoms of certain mental illnesses such as depression and Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) are often viewed as signs of weakness and poor character. These falsehoods only feed into the stigma causing those affected additional pain.

Just like we remember to attend each school board meeting, and how we always show up at every protest, black women should exercise that same urgency and rally against poor mental health care in our communities. We need to be creative with our strategies, as well. For instance, churches are leading institutions where people turn to for guidance, charity, health care, food and sense of community. How incredible would it be for us to start the dialogue there? Some churches already offer marriage counseling.Why not expand upon that and offer support groups and have licensed mental health professionals donate some of their time?

If our elderly parents become lethargic and withdrawn, it is possible that they aren’t just getting old and may instead be depressed. That “crazy” cousin of ours can very well have an illness associated with paranoia from which they can seek treatment from. Mental illnesses are never contagious, but rarely affect just the person suffering.  The possibilities are endless and we, as black women, can have a huge impact on the state of our community. We truly need to be at the forefront in the fight against mental illness within our communities in order to see a change occur!

Do you agree? Why do you think women try to be strong even during difficult times? How can we change this?

8 Things Successful Women Do Differently

Successful people do things differently. It’s the truth. The question is, are you doing these things? Are you preparing yourself to live the life you have always wanted? The one you’ve dreamed about. The one you are more than capable of living. Success is not only for certain people. It is something that anyone can achieve. Review  the list below and assess whether you posses these traits:

1. They Take Risks

They take risks in order to accomplish great things by pushing their fear to the side, and going after what they want. Noted in as Essence Magazine’s as one of the top 10 black entrepeneurs is Mrs. Valeire Daniels-Carter is the President and  CEO of  V & J Holding Companies which operates over 100 Burger King and Pizza Hutt locations in 4 states. Her and her brother took a risk after running one franchise of BK to now owning over 100! Now her company is the LARGEST African-American owned restaurant franchise operator in the U.S.

2. They Carry Themselves with Dignity & Class

They carry themselves as regal ladies! They take pride in their appearance, their health, and their presence. The First Lady is one of the best examples of this! Others include Nicole Ari Parker, Nia Long, Jada Pinkett Smith and Phylicia Rashad.

3. They Work Hard and Play Hard

They work extremely hard professionally, but also take time out to enjoy their personal time and take care of themselves. Sherri Shepperd wrote a whole book around this one called, Permission Slips: Every Women’s Guide to Giving Herself a Break where she shares her wisdom on allowing ourselves permission to relax and to make mistakes that we can learn from.

4.  They are Appreciators of their Culture

They acknowledge where the are form and the ways it shapes who they are as women and human beings. Melissa Harris Perry is a great advocate of this on national TV. Both Queen Latifah and Jill Scott also represent their ancestors well. Jill sings, “I take charge of ship/Moving with my back and my hips/Like my ancestors did/Speaking the Bantu,Ranga and tonga.” And America Ferrara makes no bones about hers she says proudly, “Am I Latin? Am I American? What the hell am I? I love my culture and I’m very proud of my culture.”  

5. They Recognize Men Complement Not Complete Them

They are in positive and healthy relationships that compliment who they are! Angela Bassett and Jada Pinkett Smith do a great job of displaying this publicly for all to see. There also a number of everyday women we all know who also represent this well. For even more examples check out one of my favorite blogs,  Black and Married With Kids for great advice and tools.

6.  They Brand Themselves

They brand themselves so that they are memorable and stand out from the crowd! A host of women are doing this everywhere. Some of my favorites are Marshawn Evans (ME University) and Tory Sparks of Spark & Hustle.

7. They Know they are Fabulous & Empowered

They know they are regal realness women! Kimora Lee Simmons the queen of fabuloisty owns this, and we know she is nothing less than a powerhouse!

8. They Speak their Truth #Realness

They know they have a voice and thoughts that the world needs to hear. They do not hold their tongue and are affectionately known for “keeping it real” and telling our stories. Great examples are: Audre Lorde, Maya Angelou, Terry McMillan, bell hooks, Alice Walker, Bebe Moore Campbell, Toni Morrison, Soledad O’Brien, and Sonia Sanchez to name a few!

Enjoyed this article? READ: 6 Secrets of Successful Women of Color

Which of these do you need to do more of in order to become as successful as you want to be?

6 Reasons Why I Love Black Men

Whoooo! Where do I start? I have been in love since the 7^th grade…maybe even before. It is just something about these men that make my face light up. Now not for all of them, but for the ones I do find attractive….this post is for them. This post is about the regal handsomeness, professionalism, compassion, and admiration I have for Black men. I like All men, but I have a special spot in my heart for Black Men.   Now every black men I have ever met in life has not lived up to this list, but note this is solely my opinion, and this is a generalization based on my own experiences.

1.  They are attractive!

We all find different people attractive, but Black men are some of the finest men on the planet! This is part of the reason why Black women have a problem with women of other races “stealing” our men. But, can we blame some of them? We have to admit that for some of our men (cough: Idris) who wouldn’t want to take a look?

2. They come in many shades and styles!

Caramel, mocha, latte, caramel, butterscotch, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and the list goes on! Whatever your preference there is something to meet your interest. And whether you like them tatted, dread locked, beared, low cut, big, skinny, small, muscled, urban, suburban, country,etc you name it—they got it!

 3. They admire Black women

Not all of them but the ones who do…boy oh boy! It is fine for them to like all women, but to hear a Black man discuss his love for Black women just speaks volumes. It brings a breath of fresh air to the room because sometimes it can be rare.  In essence, when they show a love for Black women it speaks to their connection to their culture heritage.

4. Their voice is easily recognized

You can easily pick up on a brotha’s voice without even seeing his face. Hearing them take charge or step up as a leader adds to my appreciation for them.

 5. They are educated and cultured in many ways

The formal education system may not have been set up for African Americans, but there are many “hidden intellectualisms” among Black males and Black culture that I value the same as formal education. Being able to recite and analyze Shakespeare and knowing how to freestyle in my mind hold similar weight. They both have to be learned and are skills one must learn. Additionally they bring a culture to the table laced with intellect not valued by mainstream society, but nevertheless can cause one to think deeply and make connections to academia and the world.

 6. Their swagger is undeniable

Everyone wants to cop their style…everyone! Since Black men emerged in America it has been a struggle for them to keep their swag in check as they combat many trials and tribulations daily.  But, still they rise. The elegance and sophistication of Black men has always been around. In college I read ‘Towards A Black Aesthetic’ by Hoyt Fuller in an African American Lit class. Hoyt Fuller spoke of a white man’s commentary on the style that Black men posses that he didn’t notice as much in white men. Discussing “the Negro’s immense style, a style so seductive that it’s little wonder that black men are, as Shakespeare put it in The Two Gentlemen of Verona, ‘pearls in beauteous ladies’ eyes.’

The white writer, George Frazier continues, “is not that there are no white men with style, for there is Fred Astaire, for one, and Cary Grant, for another, but that there are so very, very few of them. Even in the dock, the black man has an air about him—Adam Clayton Powell, so blithe, so self-possessed, so casual, as contrasted with Tom Dodd, sanctimonious, whining, an absolute disgrace. What it is that made Miles Davis and Cassius Clay, Sugar Ray Robinson and Archie Moore and Ralph Ellison and Sammy Davis, Jr. seem so special was their style.…”  

I’ve never forgotten this article because it struck me right there in the classroom that Black men’s worth and value were noticed by others contrary to popular belief. Not only is their physical worth valued (as we know both positively and negatively), but it is important that we note what our Black brothas are bringing to the table as a whole being! We usually discuss Black men in contexts of deadbeat fathers, baby daddies, drug dealers, rappers, athletes, less then, etc but there comes a time when we should also look to those Black Men who are defying the odds and stepping into new visuals and definitions of Black masculinity in the 21^st century.

What else would you add to this list of love for black men?